Gifts for Famous People

I know you are busy finding appropriate gifts for all your friends and family members. Now, image you had to get appropriate gifts for famous people as well. Here are some suggestions for a dozen folks who are known everywhere. (This is just for laughs, people. Don’t take this article as serious…just chuckle.)

Scrabble

Donald Trump. Santa could bring him a giant wall-size “Scrabble” game (see above). Using it would help him improve his vocabulary beyond “fake news,” “loser,” best, biggest, greatest, huge, etc.

 

Vladimir Putin. Because Russia’s National Animal is the bear, someone will send him a giant stuffed bear from Toys R Us. The gift card would say: from “an admirer” and the return address might read “Washington, D. C.” Hmmm.

ClimbWall

Serena Williams.  To help (as if she will need any) her get ready for another tennis season, she could receive “the infinite Climbing Wall Treadmill.” (see above) It will have “a continuously revolving face that enables endless vertical climbs on hand and foot-holds.” Advantage Williams.

 

Michelle Obama. She receives “an invitation”. It could read: “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time together during my visit to my second home, The White House. We could make up for lost time when you visit Mar-a-Lago. Does Barry golf? (When very young, President Obama was called Barry.) Not as well as I do, believe me. Bring him along, if you must. Donald.” Michelle would skip golf and challenge Donald to arm wrestling. Ouch.

Lit Net

LeBron James. As Mr. James nears his final NBA seasons, a gift that would help him maintain his shooting accuracy would be “The Glow in The Dark Indoor Basketball Hoop.” (see above) “The backboard, net, and ball appear white in daylight and glow green in the dark enabling shooting drills after lights out.” Look out, Mr. Curry.

 

Angela Merkel. The German Chancellor might receive a signed copy of: “Trump: The Art of the Deal.”   The inscription could read: “To my second favorite foreign leader, Angela. Sorry I forgot to shake your hand during your visit. We’ll shake everything next time. Donald.” No strudel for you, Mr. President.

ATV

Oprah Winfrey. She could buy herself anything with her earnings over the years, but she might not think of receiving “”The Amphibious ATV” (see above) “This is the world’s first high-speed all-terrain vehicle that travels over land and sea at up to 45 mph.” She could tow the President on his skies.

 

Jeff Bezos. The world’s only living $100 billion man! He would never think of receiving, from Amazon, a 100,000 piece LEGO building set. He could use it to build his own second warehouse. Cities overlooked would be envious.

TirePump

Tom Brady. Perhaps Commissioner Goodell will send him “the only automatic Cordless Tire Inflator.” (see above) “The desired pressure is set using its digital pressure gauge.” Eh, for use in future playoff games? Or if a car tire needs help on the way to the stadium…more likely.

 

Lin-Manuel Miranda. The creator of Broadway’s “Hamilton” will almost certainly receive an 8 X 10” glossy picture of President Trump inscribed: “always thinking of you, Donald.” Remember Miranda’s reaction to Trump’s comments after the hurricane hit Puerto Rico? “You’re going straight to hell @real Donald Trump. No long lines for you. Someone will say, “Right this way, sir.” They’ll clear a path.” Everyone knows how often the President forgets or forgives real/imagined slights.

BIGPiano

Audra McDonald. The 6-time Tony winner would love to receive “The Light Up Party Piano” (see above) only from Hammacher Schlemmer’s store. It is 8 feet long and lights up and plays music when anyone dances or jumps on the keys. Remember Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia in the movie “Big?” Maybe Ms. McDonald will use it in her next Tony winning performance.

 

Meryl Streep. Is it true Ethan and Joel Coen will give her the lead role in their next film, entitled: “Married for Money”, a biopic of the life of Melania Trump? Ms. Streep’s expected reaction? “It will be my greatest challenge yet.” (Rumor: President Trump will be played by Wallace Shawn. Vizzini, in “The Princess Bride.”)    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About rcarmean

Two things... First, why have I decided to establish this blog? I like to put essays together. I research an idea or topic looking for information, statistics, stories, quotes, pictures, etc. I enjoy the process and seeing a finished product. I’m told that as I get older, new activities can help maintain energy and keep my brain alert. In other words, I am not doing this for money or fame. Second, regarding the gentleman in the collage of pictures above...it's not me. Those are photos of Christy Mathewson. Why him? When I was young, my primary activity was being sick. It took up much of my time. Eczema (a case so bad I was written up in a medical journal showing doctors what their patients COULD look like), asthma, and allergies. You know allergies: don’t eat this, don’t wear that, and, for Heaven’s sake, don’t touch any of these things (eg, dogs, cats, horses --I only saw horses in cowboy movies and TV shows, dust, swimming pools, my brother --OK, that’s an exaggeration, Rick was a fine brother). In my spare time between doctors' appointments, pills, and ointments, baseball kept me sane. In the 1940s and 1950s, when I grew up, pro footballI and basketball had not yet become extremely popular. Baseball truly was “the national pastime.” I listened to games on the radio (remember it? TV without the picture). I read magazines, books, and newspaper accounts of games. I collected baseball cards. I learned about the game’s history, as well as present. The same with its stars. One man stood out: Christy Mathewson. He was a great pitcher for the New York Giants in the early 20th century. But there was much more to him. At a time when professional athletes made little money (yes, there was such a time) and ball players were considered on the same level as actors, artists, and prostitutes, Mathewson stood out. One of his nicknames was: “The Christian Gentleman.” Most men is baseball drank, smoked, cursed, and fought —with other players, umpires, and fans. The fights were physical, not just verbal. Mathewson did none of these things. But he earned the respect of other players who did them all. Even Ty Cobb and John McGraw. There’s more. He was a college graduate (Bucknell University) when most men were lucky to have a high school diploma. He played other sports, including pro football which you wouldn’t recognize. He was handsome. He played in New York City, then as now, the largest city in the country. Excellence and popularity there meant fame and money. He dressed well. Today, his commercials would rival LeBron’s. And, finally, a hero’s life must have tragedy. After his playing career ended, WWI arrived. He suffered from influenza and was exposed to mustard gas. Chemical warfare. His lungs were damaged and he required treatment for the rest of his life. (Like my Grandfather who also fought in The Great War.) He died in 1925. He was 45 years old. I have his picture here because you need to know more about him than me. He was what an athlete could be. Players like him and their accomplishments got me through a sickly, painful childhood and can still sustain me in difficult times. *****
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