I know you are busy finding appropriate gifts for all your friends and family members. Now, image you had to get appropriate gifts for famous people as well. Here are some suggestions for a dozen folks who are known everywhere. (This is just for laughs, people. Don’t take this article as serious…just chuckle.)
Donald Trump. Santa could bring him a giant wall-size “Scrabble” game (see above). Using it would help him improve his vocabulary beyond “fake news,” “loser,” best, biggest, greatest, huge, etc.
Vladimir Putin. Because Russia’s National Animal is the bear, someone will send him a giant stuffed bear from Toys R Us. The gift card would say: from “an admirer” and the return address might read “Washington, D. C.” Hmmm.
Serena Williams. To help (as if she will need any) her get ready for another tennis season, she could receive “the infinite Climbing Wall Treadmill.” (see above) It will have “a continuously revolving face that enables endless vertical climbs on hand and foot-holds.” Advantage Williams.
Michelle Obama. She receives “an invitation”. It could read: “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time together during my visit to my second home, The White House. We could make up for lost time when you visit Mar-a-Lago. Does Barry golf? (When very young, President Obama was called Barry.) Not as well as I do, believe me. Bring him along, if you must. Donald.” Michelle would skip golf and challenge Donald to arm wrestling. Ouch.
LeBron James. As Mr. James nears his final NBA seasons, a gift that would help him maintain his shooting accuracy would be “The Glow in The Dark Indoor Basketball Hoop.” (see above) “The backboard, net, and ball appear white in daylight and glow green in the dark enabling shooting drills after lights out.” Look out, Mr. Curry.
Angela Merkel. The German Chancellor might receive a signed copy of: “Trump: The Art of the Deal.” The inscription could read: “To my second favorite foreign leader, Angela. Sorry I forgot to shake your hand during your visit. We’ll shake everything next time. Donald.” No strudel for you, Mr. President.
Oprah Winfrey. She could buy herself anything with her earnings over the years, but she might not think of receiving “”The Amphibious ATV” (see above) “This is the world’s first high-speed all-terrain vehicle that travels over land and sea at up to 45 mph.” She could tow the President on his skies.
Jeff Bezos. The world’s only living $100 billion man! He would never think of receiving, from Amazon, a 100,000 piece LEGO building set. He could use it to build his own second warehouse. Cities overlooked would be envious.
Tom Brady. Perhaps Commissioner Goodell will send him “the only automatic Cordless Tire Inflator.” (see above) “The desired pressure is set using its digital pressure gauge.” Eh, for use in future playoff games? Or if a car tire needs help on the way to the stadium…more likely.
Lin-Manuel Miranda. The creator of Broadway’s “Hamilton” will almost certainly receive an 8 X 10” glossy picture of President Trump inscribed: “always thinking of you, Donald.” Remember Miranda’s reaction to Trump’s comments after the hurricane hit Puerto Rico? “You’re going straight to hell @real Donald Trump. No long lines for you. Someone will say, “Right this way, sir.” They’ll clear a path.” Everyone knows how often the President forgets or forgives real/imagined slights.
Audra McDonald. The 6-time Tony winner would love to receive “The Light Up Party Piano” (see above) only from Hammacher Schlemmer’s store. It is 8 feet long and lights up and plays music when anyone dances or jumps on the keys. Remember Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia in the movie “Big?” Maybe Ms. McDonald will use it in her next Tony winning performance.
Meryl Streep. Is it true Ethan and Joel Coen will give her the lead role in their next film, entitled: “Married for Money”, a biopic of the life of Melania Trump? Ms. Streep’s expected reaction? “It will be my greatest challenge yet.” (Rumor: President Trump will be played by Wallace Shawn. Vizzini, in “The Princess Bride.”)