World’s Grumpiest Boss

HouseCast

Monday, 10/16/17, is “National Bosses Day.” Is this (see above) a picture of “the world’s grumpiest boss” and his (Dr. House’s) staff? No, but if you would like to see that man’s picture, here he is…

TMike

“Tiger” Mike Davis (see above) was the CEO of Tiger Oil and for many years was known by the unofficial title of World’s Grumpiest Boss. He died in September, 2016, but his office memos to staff were known by many people outside his company. On this “special” occasion, here are some of Mr. Davis’ most (in)famous utterances.***

 

“Idle conversation and gossip in this office among employees will result in immediate termination. DO YOUR JOBS AND KEEP OUR MOUTH SHUT.” (The words in capitals are the original punctuation.)

“There will be no more birthday celebrations, birthday cakes, levity or celebrations of any kind within the office. This is a business office. If you have to celebrate, do it after hours on your own time.”

“Do not speak to me when you see me. If I want to speak to you, I will do so. I want to save my throat. I don’t want to ruin it by saying hello to all of you.”

“Anyone who lets their hair grow below their ears to where I can’t see their ears means they don’t wash. If they don’t wash, they stink. And if they stink, I don’t want the son-of-a-bitch around me.”

“I swear, but since I am the owner of this company, that is my privilege, and this privilege is not to be interpreted the same for any employee. That differentiates me from you, and I want to keep it that way. There will be absolutely no swearing, by any employee, male or female, in this office ever.”

“The furniture in this office is expensive DO NOT PUT YOUR FEET ON IT!! I am paying you to work –not slouch in your chair with your feet up on a desk or table.”

“I do not want any excuses from anyone. I am not paying people for excuses, I am paying you for results. If you cannot do a job the way we want it done, get another job, because we know what it takes to make the wheel turn.”

 

Now, aren’t you glad your boss isn’t like Mr. Davis? Remember: 10/16/17 is his/her day. Surprise them with an appropriate gift.

***Much of this story is from The New York Times, 9/26/16.

 

About rcarmean

Two things... First, why have I decided to establish this blog? I like to put essays together. I research an idea or topic looking for information, statistics, stories, quotes, pictures, etc. I enjoy the process and seeing a finished product. I’m told that as I get older, new activities can help maintain energy and keep my brain alert. In other words, I am not doing this for money or fame. Second, regarding the gentleman in the collage of pictures above...it's not me. Those are photos of Christy Mathewson. Why him? When I was young, my primary activity was being sick. It took up much of my time. Eczema (a case so bad I was written up in a medical journal showing doctors what their patients COULD look like), asthma, and allergies. You know allergies: don’t eat this, don’t wear that, and, for Heaven’s sake, don’t touch any of these things (eg, dogs, cats, horses --I only saw horses in cowboy movies and TV shows, dust, swimming pools, my brother --OK, that’s an exaggeration, Rick was a fine brother). In my spare time between doctors' appointments, pills, and ointments, baseball kept me sane. In the 1940s and 1950s, when I grew up, pro footballI and basketball had not yet become extremely popular. Baseball truly was “the national pastime.” I listened to games on the radio (remember it? TV without the picture). I read magazines, books, and newspaper accounts of games. I collected baseball cards. I learned about the game’s history, as well as present. The same with its stars. One man stood out: Christy Mathewson. He was a great pitcher for the New York Giants in the early 20th century. But there was much more to him. At a time when professional athletes made little money (yes, there was such a time) and ball players were considered on the same level as actors, artists, and prostitutes, Mathewson stood out. One of his nicknames was: “The Christian Gentleman.” Most men is baseball drank, smoked, cursed, and fought —with other players, umpires, and fans. The fights were physical, not just verbal. Mathewson did none of these things. But he earned the respect of other players who did them all. Even Ty Cobb and John McGraw. There’s more. He was a college graduate (Bucknell University) when most men were lucky to have a high school diploma. He played other sports, including pro football which you wouldn’t recognize. He was handsome. He played in New York City, then as now, the largest city in the country. Excellence and popularity there meant fame and money. He dressed well. Today, his commercials would rival LeBron’s. And, finally, a hero’s life must have tragedy. After his playing career ended, WWI arrived. He suffered from influenza and was exposed to mustard gas. Chemical warfare. His lungs were damaged and he required treatment for the rest of his life. (Like my Grandfather who also fought in The Great War.) He died in 1925. He was 45 years old. I have his picture here because you need to know more about him than me. He was what an athlete could be. Players like him and their accomplishments got me through a sickly, painful childhood and can still sustain me in difficult times. *****
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