Monday, 10/16/17, is “National Bosses Day.” Is this (see above) a picture of “the world’s grumpiest boss” and his (Dr. House’s) staff? No, but if you would like to see that man’s picture, here he is…
“Tiger” Mike Davis (see above) was the CEO of Tiger Oil and for many years was known by the unofficial title of World’s Grumpiest Boss. He died in September, 2016, but his office memos to staff were known by many people outside his company. On this “special” occasion, here are some of Mr. Davis’ most (in)famous utterances.***
“Idle conversation and gossip in this office among employees will result in immediate termination. DO YOUR JOBS AND KEEP OUR MOUTH SHUT.” (The words in capitals are the original punctuation.)
“There will be no more birthday celebrations, birthday cakes, levity or celebrations of any kind within the office. This is a business office. If you have to celebrate, do it after hours on your own time.”
“Do not speak to me when you see me. If I want to speak to you, I will do so. I want to save my throat. I don’t want to ruin it by saying hello to all of you.”
“Anyone who lets their hair grow below their ears to where I can’t see their ears means they don’t wash. If they don’t wash, they stink. And if they stink, I don’t want the son-of-a-bitch around me.”
“I swear, but since I am the owner of this company, that is my privilege, and this privilege is not to be interpreted the same for any employee. That differentiates me from you, and I want to keep it that way. There will be absolutely no swearing, by any employee, male or female, in this office ever.”
“The furniture in this office is expensive DO NOT PUT YOUR FEET ON IT!! I am paying you to work –not slouch in your chair with your feet up on a desk or table.”
“I do not want any excuses from anyone. I am not paying people for excuses, I am paying you for results. If you cannot do a job the way we want it done, get another job, because we know what it takes to make the wheel turn.”
Now, aren’t you glad your boss isn’t like Mr. Davis? Remember: 10/16/17 is his/her day. Surprise them with an appropriate gift.
***Much of this story is from The New York Times, 9/26/16.