The Queen and 3 Subjects
The article I posted on August 6, 2017, The Great British Baking Show, received a wonderful number of Views, although I assume Beyonce is viewed more often. Plus, it received a record number of Likes (8), although, once again, Beyonce is more liked than I am. (And, according to Wikipedia, her net worth is approximately $349.999 million more than I am, even if I include both my used cars). And, finally, Writing the piece was a great deal of fun.
So, I must ask myself: What was the secret of the article’s popularity? The photograph capturing the marvelous beauty of the shows contestants? Possibly. The humor and good judgment of the hosts and judges? Could be. The tasty pictures of the bakers’ culinary masterpieces? Partially, of course. But the common thread running through all of these reasons is: The show was a production of Great Britain! It’s so obvious, really. Some of the Likers themselves were from “this sceptered isle…this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.” I think those words come from a popular poet. Possibly Wordsworth. (But, I could be incorrect. I have not read Wordsworth since high school.)
But since I am once again putting pen to paper, or, more correctly, fingers to computer, can I turn to that country for inspiration? Of course! Look at the photograph at the top of this piece. (see above) It screams out to me: “Write about The Queen and her Corgis.” That’s a topic that begs to be examined. But it’s no doubt been done, on multiple occasions, by a variety of publications within the Queen’s own country.
How about the Queen’s husband: Prince Philip. No. He’s just retired from public life. Perhaps the Queen’s son? Charles. He was married to Princes Diana. Oops. No; he was the one who rejected her. The cad!! He’s old news. Who’s more up to date?
Yes; I’ve got it! The Next Royal family (pictured above) who everyone, even Charles, is waiting for! Look at those faces. So young, so innocent, so lacking in guile. William and Kate. Who could be more photogenic? George and Charlotte? What’s that? Too young, you say. No one is too young to go unreported by the tabloids. Just give them 2 or 3 more years to develop their vocabulary. So, back to William and Kate it is. But wait a moment! I see flaws. William’s hair –or lack of it to be precise. But such an attractive man, educated, polite…but, sadly, deficient in hair. And so we are left with Kate. Magnificent hair, winning smile, always properly dressed… but…my wife says she needs a good meal. What? What about that old cigarette commercial: “You can never be too thin, or too rich.” (Virginia Slims) So close. So very close. But, still, a few hairs or another 2 or 10 pounds too shy.
Is there a symbol or sight that says in CAPITOL letters: England! Perhaps Big Ben? It could be written off as a pocket watch on steroids. The Tower? No; it might be confused with that tower in Paris (ie, Eiffel). Red phone booths? People will think Doctor Who, nothing else. Double decker buses? For those in England, a possible solution. But on this side of the pond, it would be just another symbol for poor public transportation. Stonehenge? Once again poorly educated American citizens would see it as a mere suburb of London in need of a makeover, funded by the public. A definite no go. London’s Eye? I can hear the complaints already: it’s a damn ferris wheel with good PR!
Let’s start over. England is known for its cooking, yes? Yes! What dish says England, Great Britain? Fish and chips? Arthur Treacher’s? Not known in the U. S. any more. Long John Silver’s? Not known outside the U. S. Tea? It’s the drink for everybody, just behind water in popularity. Tea, plus small sandwiches, scones, small cakes? Ohhhhh. It will get women’s attention. But how many men take afternoon tea? Oh, so close to the goal. The full English breakfast? (pictured below) What’s in it? Eggs, bacon, sausage, grilled tomato, mushrooms, beans, black pudding? What’s black pudding? You’re joking. No, sometimes it has that. Men could go for it, but…?
Good grief. There has got to be someone or something that stands for England. Work with me. Monty Python? Winston Churchill? Sherlock Holmes? Mrs. Peel? The Beatles? The Rolling Stones? Shortbread? (pictured below) Shortbread?! Is it made in the U.S.A.? Real shortbread is made in Scotland. That’s not part of Great Britain. Right now, it is. What’s it taste like, what kind of bread? It tastes like a fantastic cookie, lots of butter, sugar, flour –that’s all. Who makes it? Walker’s is the best. How do you know? My wife gets it for me every Christmas., the biggest box she can find. So, that’s it? Yes. Shortbread is it.
What would you choose to symbolize England?